Posted by What day is it? I genuinely don’t know.
My intention was to go back to doing these posts daily once the OddSon arrived – now there’s the joke of the year… to think I actually thought I would have the time.
Nah, I’m slowly… SLOOOOWWWWWLLLLYYYYYY… getting back into routine. I think. Once I work out what day of the week it is.
Anywho – here’s a quick summary of the takeaways of the first 18 days of being a father of 2.
Donor Kebab
The best takeaway you could possibly pollute your body with. Oh… Was that not the type of takeaways you were expecting?
Fine, fine. Let me try again…
Managing time
Yes. This old pickle. How can you manage time when there is NO time. If I’m not changing nappies, I’m making dinner. If I’m not making dinner, I’m getting the OddDaughter ready for nursery/dance class/swimming/bathtime/bedtime. If I’m not getting the OddDaughter ready for something, I’m washing dishes/clothes. If I’m not washing, I’m vacuuming/tidying. You get the gist… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. And there’s still lots of things that still need doing! Ah the good old days when I had time to take a dump.
Speaking of taking a dump…
Nappy changes
The OddSon takes the piss. Both figuratively and literally. I know what you’re thinking “no shit”. Well actually there is shit. There is a lot of shit. This boy decides to take a dump, then soon as I marvel at the sterling clean up job I’ve done he decides to go into “fountain mode”, then I clean him up AGAIN – new clothes, new nappy, and then I hear the sound many parents probably dread (especially in the middle of the night)… the shart.
Deep breaths… He will not break me. He will not break me.
The TB injection
Just a routine injection, right? Unfortunately I happened to be holding the OddSon when the nurse pulled out the needle. I was basically asked to hold the OddSon in what I can only describe as a wrestling submission move whilst this woman stabbed him.
It killed me to do that. I will never forgive the bitch.
The OddDaughter
I was worried at how the OddDaughter would take to the OddSon once things settled. Then one day, before some visitors arrived to our house, I saw her crouch down to him and say something along the lines of this:
”Lots of people are coming but there’s no need to be scared, they’re all family, you’re safe. It’s ok, your big sister is here for you.”
I’m literally crying as I type it. I’m so proud of her. She has been so amazing.
Overall feelings
So, how do I feel? Honestly? For all the lack of time, the multiple soiled nappies, the crying… I’m feeling pretty damn broody. Is it weird to want another child when you currently have a child less than 3 weeks old? Though I’m probably feeling too old for another child.
Plus when I mention it to Mrs OddFather, I usually get a response like this:
So yeah, sorry for the lack of regular content. I’ll try aiming for a bit more consistency going forward. Until then, let me go back to finding out what day it is.