Posted by A group of enhanced humans in cars find themselves cheating death from one action set piece to another.
After watching Another Round last week, I was taught how indulging in something bad for you over an extended amount of time could result in addiction. I thought this wouldn’t happen to me. I’m strong willed, how could I become addicted to anything? Then Fast and Furious came along. I spent 10 days catching up on a series I had no interest in and thought I could walk away. This week I was supposed to watch In The Heights at the cinemas, a musical about something or other. But I found myself with a craving, taking a last-minute swerve into a screening for F9. When did I lose control?
I may be treading on ground previously covered with my review of the Fast and Furious movie series, but that probably says more of the movies themselves than my writing skills *ahem ahem*. It probably shows my elderliness that this series didn’t appeal to me in recent years. The first few movies were just awful, though maybe they were just a product of their time. I mean at one point in my life I did drive a kitted-up Gold BMW with an engine bigger than it needed to be. Wow I miss that car, my current Ford Focus doesn’t quite match the driving experience I once had. Oh God, what have these movies turned me into?! Anyway, having sat through 2 or so hours of another Fast and Furious movie, was this more Fast Saga or Fart Saga? See what I did there? I’ve been waiting to use that all week.
Firstly, I should point out that this review will be filled with spoilers. I mean, the trailer and even poster give away most of what to expect, but just in case you’re sensitive to these things, here’s your one and only warning.
So, what is this movie about? Well, erm, a group of fast drivers classing themselves as family must obtain an item that if in the wrong hands, could destroy the world as we know it. Or something like that. There’s an added layer of drama because the wrong hands happen to belong to Dom’s (Vin Diesel) long lost brother Jakob (John Cena), who appears literally out of nowhere. In order to stop him, the team must travel all around the world, avoiding and reversing death time and time again until the only place left to go is outer space.
That’s right. Space. This movie sees a couple of drivers “drive” in space. Space! Let that sink in for a second. There’s no time for any NASA training, they’re literally launched, in a car, into space. Space!! This series of movies has never been all that realistic, they even joke about defying the laws of physics time and time again. However, launching a car into space just seems completely out there. It does make me wonder what we’ll see in the next couple of films if they continue attempting to outdo themselves:
- Fast and Furious 10 – The gang manage to drive so fast they pull a Superman 2 and gain the ability to travel through time. Nicely setting up a dinosaur crossover movie.
- Fast and Furious 11 – Vin Diesel manages to drive to the edge of the universe, collects more Vin Diesels from parallel universes, and they all collide creating the big bang leading to the birth of the universe itself. Get your head round that!
You heard it here first folks!
Moving on… F9 also sees the return of fan favourite Han. A character that dies in the third film, makes a cameo in the fourth film, gets involved in the heists of the fifth and sixth movies, and then dies again in the third film which is actually set after the sixth. Are you still with me? Good. I have to say I was a bit disappointed. Gone are the youthful looks and luscious locks. What we get is a guy that seems to get his ass handed to him several times. His survival in the crash of Tokyo Drift seems clunky but what more can you expect in this franchise. I imagine Emperor Palpatine will show up when Vin Diesel resets the universe in F11. No one’s ever really gone.
One person whose presence is really missed in this film is Dwayne Johnson. I don’t know if there was a deliberate plan to bring in John Cena to replace Johnson’s absence, but it does not compare at all. I used to watch a lot of wrestling, and as much as I don’t particularly like John Cena, he just seems especially dull in this movie. His ability to throw in quips like Johnson just weren’t utilised and therefore he lacked any sort of charisma. It’s as if they wanted him to appear more like Vin Diesel, which given the fact they play onscreen brothers, makes sense. But an opportunity lost in my opinion. I also questioned the age of the characters. The character portraying a younger Dom in 1989 looked just a tad younger than Vin Diesel in 2001. And how was their dad able to die in a crash scraping a wall, but this crew have survived all sorts of direct head-on crashes at maximum speed? OMG, maybe they are invincible superheroes?
A note on that ‘invincible’ joke running through this movie. There were several moments where Roman (Tyrese Gibson) states that given the adventures they’ve been on there’s not even a scratch on these characters, so they must in fact be invincible. This is played up for laughs but for me, this seems like bad taste considering what happened to Paul Walker. Maybe I’m overthinking it? Though it is nice to see they’re still involving Paul’s character, Brian, in the movies. This time showing his car pull up at the end. They’ve played it well as it concludes the movie, like the previous 2, by pulling on your heart strings for an actor no longer with us.
Verdict
I realise I’ve been punching holes in this movie through this entire review. But for me, that’s what makes a Fast and Furious movie. Over the top action sequences that get you talking about the insanity of the action you’ve just seen. Truth being said, when I think back to the movie it did make me laugh – once again, not sure if we’re supposed to laugh at the action but it works for me.