It’s the World Cup semi-finals! And for some reason I felt compelled to reimagine the semi-finalists as wrestlers. Probably something to do with my childhood obsession with 90s wrestling.
The Best There Is: Messi. A spoof of my favourite ever wrestler – Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Messi holds the mantle well: respected veteran, technically brilliant, and let’s face it – the best there ever will be…
Harry Kane as… Kane. Bit of a dad joke here. Originally I was going to go with someone like Andre the Giant – but couldn’t resist Kane as Kane. I guess he already is a goal-scoring machine. And for those who remember wrestling from back in the day, Harry may find Kane’s voice-box useful! Does he look a bit gormless in this image? Maybe that’s by design… The Arsenal runs strong in my veins.
Then there’s Rey Myterio-inspired Lamine Yamal. He may be small but he’s not without high-flying excitement. Yes, it would have made more sense if he was Mexican – but what can you do?
Let’s not forget the Charismatic People’s Champion: Mbappe. I think he’d settle quite well in The Rock’s boots. What with the obvious desire to be centre of attention.
Finally, we can’t forget Ronaldo as the Deadman. The Undertaker. The reason? Simply because he should be done and buried. But would I be surprised if Trump changed the rules of “Soccer” to put Ronaldo back in? Nope.
