Phew. The OddDaughter’s birthday has finally come to a close. Recently it’s become a full week affair. We celebrate as our little unit, then we celebrate with family, and then we celebrate with her friends.
This year, she went climbing at an arena with her friends. This wasn’t the first time the OddDaughter has been climbing here. Even so, I was super impressed with just how high she climbed. The girl really has no fear. Which is amazing given how much of a wimp her dad is. I get nervous taking the lift to the top floor at work.
It made me realise just how grown-up the OddDaughter is getting. Which got me thinking of this paradox that parents find themselves in. At least, I assume it’s not just me. You see, I find myself thinking a lot about how it’s only X more years until we’re past this stage.
Some examples include:
- Only X more years and the kid’s playroom can become my playroom with a pool table and bar. (Subject to approval from Mrs OddFather)… but then I’ll miss how colourful the room is with all the toys.
- It won’t be long before the kids don’t need to be so dependent on us and we can go out just the two of us… but then the kids will be out with their friends all the time and I’ll barely see them.
- I can finally get the BMW 5 Series I’ve always wanted without it being a mobile dustbin… but then the kids will just sit on their phones and I’ll miss the drives where we play silly games in the people carrier we now have.
- The OddSon will finally be able to communicate fully without any tantrums… but then I’ll miss this sweet funny age where he repeats what I say and then giggles like mad.
- The kids will be able to dress themselves in whatever clothes they want… but then they’ll become “too cool” for the dinosaur clothes I pick out for them that represent more my love for dinos.
- The house will finally be clean for more than 5 minutes!… But it won’t feel as lived in as it does right now.
You get the idea.
It’s not even parenting. I always seem to have a ten year plan to pay off the mortgage, and kind of find myself wishing to get to that milestone. Even though it means the kids will have grown up and probably be going through that teenage stage where parents are hated as standard.
And then I’ll probably not even know what to do with the extra money we have because I’ll be older and my partying days will be long behind me.
Ah, who am I kidding. I’ll still be partying in the retirement home.
I often find myself caught between working hard now to give the kids a more secure future and making sure I don’t miss out on the years when they adore the hell out of us. I’m proud to say I’m STILL in the top three best friends the OddSon has (after the OddDaughter and Mrs OddFather).
Life is frantic at the moment, and I often find myself looking forward to when things slow down a bit. But the reality is that, when they do, I’ll probably find something else to wish away.
Maybe that’s the parenting paradox. We’re so busy looking forward to the next stage that we forget we’re living through the very moments we’ll one day wish we could have back.
Hell, it’s not even the long term future. There are times where I’m exhausted with the kids and look forward to them going to sleep – but the moment they’re both asleep I find myself sitting here not knowing what to do with myself, missing them.
Does anyone else feel this paradox with their kids? And has anyone found a way to slow time down and actually enjoy these moments while they’re happening? Because I’m all ears if you’ve discovered the 2020s equivalent of Bernard’s Watch.
