Posted by Thought I’d try something different while there’s a bit of a lull in movies I want to go to the cinema to see. Some may consider this a risky strategy resulting in losing regular readers I’ve worked hard to obtain over the past 6 or so months. However, I’m sure all two of my regular readers will find it within themselves to forgive me if they hate the material and will stick with me until the end of time… Right?… Right?
This post is inspired by the tiny human that’s kept me going during the pandemic – the OddDaughter. She turned two back in October – and every day she finds new ways to make me love her more and more. Her speech development is a complete game-changer though. We’re actually able to hold a pretty decent conversation with her! That said, with talking comes a whole bunch of ups and downs, and today I’ll be providing detail into just some of the many different phases involved.
Accusations and lies
There comes a time in all our lives where we must provide the odd white lie here or there. What I didn’t realise is how soon into our development this comes into play.
Somehow, the OddDaughter picked up the term “fart” fairly quickly, understanding what it is and where it comes from. It’s natural right? It happens to the best of us. What surprised me is the sheer lying that follows. There would be times where I’m enjoying a daddy-daughter day and the little one let’s rip – no issues there. But then she had the audacity to say, “daddy fart”. I’m like “hold the phone, there’s only the two of us here, and I sure as hell did not do a bottom burp”. Her response? “No, daddy fart”.
What choice did I have but to allow it? You’ve got to pick your battles with a toddler after all. Yet it wasn’t a one off, this happened again in front of Mrs OddFather, and she believes the OddDaughter! No amount of reasoning would change Mrs OddFather’s mind. OddDaughter 1, OddFather 0. When this happens again in front of guests, it leaves me rather red-faced. What more can I do but to make the situation count? No point holding back if I’m being accused of it regardless, right?
Back handed compliments
I’m a good father, honestly. I don’t go mad at the OddDaughter – even if I’m screaming on the inside. And when she does good, I make a point of letting her know this. She is a “Good Girl”. It brings the sweetest of smiles to her face which makes me feel all warm on the inside.
For all the compliments the OddDaughter gets, she sure does like giving them back. But there’s a slight issue here. There was an instance where the OddDaughter wanted me to pass her the milk. She said please so nothing wrong there. But as I handed the milk to her, she has that same smile on her face and says, “Good girl”.
How can this be? It took all the other kids years before that became a thing in my school life. Suddenly that sweet smile has a bit of malice to it and the power shifts to the OddDaughter once more.
Tender loving care
It’s no secret that being a parent can be a tiring job. This is especially true when Mrs OddFather works a weekend and I’m feeling slightly worse for wear. In this constant battle of wits with the toddler, I never quite know what I’m going to get. It’s kind of like a box of chocolates. Someone really should snap that quote up.
For all the tantrums and screaming, there’s also some genuinely lovely moments offered by the OddDaughter. There’s this one time I remember sitting there sipping my tea, struggling to keep my eyes open whilst reading The Hungry Caterpillar for the 10th time that morning. As I contemplated calling for assistance, the OddDaughter patted my shoulder and said, “You ok daddy?”. Immediately all life’s issues went away as she followed up with, “Close your eyes, go to sleep daddy”. Honestly, I’m one lucky father.
…Until I opened my eyes and saw a pasta sauce painting smeared onto the kitchen sliding door.
True love
As a father, it very quickly becomes clear that the ranking in the household doesn’t work in our favour with the little ones. If we put all our hours into working and providing for our family, the toddlers prefer their mothers and see fathers as being absent. If mothers put more hours into working, then toddlers prefer mothers because they don’t see them as much. Thanks mother nature. You really screwed us fathers over there.
I’m a hands-on father so I spend a lot of time with the OddDaughter. When she wakes up, she’ll ask for Mrs OddFather and I inform her she’s at work. I comfort her that her daddy is here, no joy. When she does finally come to terms with mummy being at work, she calls out for the second most important person in her life… Peppa Pig. Peppa Bloody Pig.
Does Peppa Pig cook her meals? Does Peppa Pig do all the washing in the house? Does Peppa Pig wipe her arse when she’s done a poo? Big. Fat. No. If I ever get my hands on Peppa Pig…
Continuous joy
For all the lies, back handed compliments, and Peppa-Pig-loving, you’d think I preferred the time before the OddDaughter was able to open her mouth. But you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because for all these cute annoying statements, there’s the cute loving statements.
The first time she said “I love you daddy” it absolutely melted my heart. And when she wishes me happy birthday for 30 days straight because she caught wind that my birthday was coming soon, it made me feel special beyond words.
So, to summarise, it really is a joy to have a talking toddler. Or something. I don’t know, I’m just rambling.
