Posted by Spider-man bulks up in search of gold with Matt Damon
I’m a routine guy. Everything I do is more efficient if there’s routine around it. Even going to the cinema used to be a Monday night thing before I realised there weren’t any movies drawing me in. Alas, Mrs OddFather forced me to the cinema weeks ago – assumingly she had enough of my love.
What’s the point I’m trying to make? Well, I went to watch Uncharted and didn’t do a review, and that seemed to break the routine for me. However, at the time of writing – I’m booked to see The Batman tonight, and it doesn’t feel right to do so without writing a review for Uncharted first. I mean, it’s routine. Rights?
So, prepare yourselves for possibly the shortest review I’ll write just to satisfy my routine demons.
I’ve never played the Uncharted games. My days of playing video games was over when my much younger cousin absolutely annihilated me when I played him at Call of Duty, and that was followed up by my brother thrashed me at FIFA by literally running the ball into the net several times. And he wasn’t necessarily good at FIFA either. It was a dark time for the OddFather.
Therefore, going into this movie I had no prior video game context. And that’s going to be the focus of my review. On paper, there’s some big hitters starring in the movie with Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg. Yes, yes, I joked in the summary that it’s Matt Damon, but I know it isn’t. How these two actors get confused with one another is insane – they look nothing alike apart from being middle aged white guys.
There’s nothing special about this movie, it’s rather forgettable. But what more can you expect of movies like this? It’s just a bog standard big dumb action flick which makes little sense at time.
The lasting impact for me is how weedy little Peter Parker, Tom Holland, has bulked up. It was apparent in Spider-Man No Way Home, but even more obvious here. I have to say, it doesn’t suit him. That’s probably because in my eyes he’ll always be Spider-Man – who is supposed to be a lean superhero. Fair play to Tom Holland for trying something different and being more grown up. But it just doesn’t seem right seeing him neck a bottle of wine. Maybe that’s just me. After all, he can’t remain a teenager forever. Wow, apparently, he’s 25 years old now! I didn’t expect that.
Other than that, there’s not much more to say about this movie. There’s the usual double crossing of characters to keep you on your toes, even though it’s all obvious. However, I have to say I didn’t hate it, and it was as enjoyable as a movie like this could be. And I think that’s where I’m going to leave this review.
I’ll put more effort into The Batman review. I promise…
Verdict
Can’t make any comparisons to the video game, but as an adventure movie it’s ok. Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg seem to get on well enough, but other than that it leaves no major lasting impression.