Money, money, money

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Hello hello. Happy hump day. I have a story to tell today.

Once upon a time, there was this guy. Solid start, eh? Whatever. This guy worked hard, but enjoyed what he earned. He kept a spreadsheet for what money he brought in, which led to knowing how much money to spend. Work hard to play hard and all that shit.

He had the latest tech. The latest mobile phone that came out each year. Nokia 3210, Nokia 3310, Nokia 8210, Sony Ericsson W800, Nokia N95, HTC One, iPhone 1, iPhone 3G, iPhone 4, 4S, 5, 5S, 6… I realise now I’ve lost a lot of young readers (I’m looking at you OddNiece and OddNephewOne) who have no idea what these things are.

Either way – this guy enjoyed his money. He drove a gold BMW. That’s right – this guy was… Me.

Bet you didn’t see that coming. Ahem.

I may have done the reveal too soon because there’s more to this story… You see, this guy met someone. He settled down. He became… sensible.

Yesterday, this guy bought a £5.25 sandwich for £1.92. You heard that right. And the guy… ME… I felt proud of myself. I had a swagger about myself as I walked back to my desk and devoured this sandwich (it was actually a baguette, but it’s too late to go back now).

This morning, I woke up thinking “What have I become?”. Who is this person I see in the mirror? A person who celebrates such things in life. The old me would have paid £10 for the baguette-sandwich thing and be done with it. This morning, I feel a great sense of shame.

I must use this as an opportunity to clarify I am not stingy. Oh no. I will still be the first to offer to pay for a round of drinks. I will still pay for a meal with those close to me. This isn’t about being stingy when it comes to others… it’s about being too reserved about how I spend money on myself.

I still have a list of items I would like to splurge on. But whereas before I would just go out and purchase said items, these days I need to keep that item on my list for at least a year before I indulge. I mean I have a iPhone 12 Pro. That’s over 4 years old. Can you believe it?

I miss being young and more decisive about what I want to spend money on, instead of torturing myself for far too long deciding whether I “need” something. No one really “needs” to buy anything. Clothes? Forget it. Just walk around starkers. But that’s not my style.

Maybe I miss who I was. Maybe I don’t like who I’ve become. Or maybe I’m just feeling super guilty about spending £1.99 on an 80g bag of Mini Eggs. ONE-NINETY-NINE.

I remember the days I used to spend £1 for 120g of Mini Eggs. What is wrong with this world? I was tempted to go back and change the Mini Eggs for the £1.35 similarly weighted Malteasers. But I guess the old me finally showed up. Plus, I love Mini Eggs.

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