Posted by Sick man exposes himself to bats and finds a cure to his illness by drinking the blood of people he murders.
I remember seeing the first trailer for Morbius. I watched intently, curious to see what Sony had up their sleeves to combat the rise of the MCU. Needless to say, I was about as excited as the Easter Bunny at Christmas. Ok, I admit the Easter pun didn’t land very well. But it’s still Easter weekend goddammit, and I will cling onto this weekend with however many bad Easter jokes are required to make it last!
Anywho… Morbius. The hope was I walked into this with such low expectations I would end up enjoying the movie. About half the movie in I was starting to think it was working… I was actually believing it wasn’t so bad. But then in the second half it all came crashing down. So very badly. The last third of the movie was especially terrible. From the story, to the acting, to the special effects. I honestly contemplated walking out.
Let me start with Jared Leto. I don’t know what it is about the guy – I just don’t like him. Maybe it’s his method acting. Apparently he delayed filming by staying in character when going to the toilet, taking extra long using crutches to the point they had to get him a wheelchair to speed things up a bit. He also kicked up a stink when he wasn’t given the role of the Joker in the standalone Joker movie – trying to sabotage the project. So yeah, I don’t like him. I doubt he’ll lose any sleep over it.
Matt Smith as Loxias Crown seemed to be enjoying himself, if not being slightly over the top. His villain was a bit on the predictable side. The first conversation he had with Morbius as adults I knew he would end up being the big bad of the movie. But compared to Leto’s very dull and serious portrayal of Morbius, Smith at least was trying to bring some life into this tedious movie.
And then there’s the mid and post credit scenes which I decided to stick around for. Obviously torturing myself is something I do now. I especially like how Sony are trying to piggyback off the success of Spidey and the MCU by shoehorning Michael Keaton’s Vulture into this movie. It’s so badly done, and introduces unnecessary questions of what happened in Spider-Man: No Way Home. It all makes very little sense. Vulture, who was locked up at the end of Spider-Man: Homecoming seemed to be at peace with Spidey at the end of that movie, by not giving away Peter’s identity. Then in this movie he randomly gets transported to another universe and assumes whatever happened was due to Spider-Man. He’s right, but what on Earth makes him guess correctly? And then he calls upon Morbius and is randomly like “we should team up”.
Come on Sony, give the rights of Spider-Man and the additional characters back to Marvel. Whatever Sony Spider-Verse they’re trying to set up isn’t working. They’ve tried several times and it just keeps failing.
Verdict
Morbius almost fooled me into thinking it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. And then the third act brings it all crashing down. This makes Space Jam 2 look like an Oscar contender! Do yourself a favour and avoid.
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