Posted by It’s 1.03am. It’s been a day of two halves. Firstly I should point out I have drank a lot. A lot for me. Several measures of whisky and beer etc. I’m sitting here, in the middle of the night with a bag of m&m’s – possibly feeling sorry for myself. I thought doing a post after drinking so much would be funny – ramping up the humour etc. But it’s not quite the case. It’s probably going to be a post full of misspellings, grammatical errors, blah blah blah. I’m seeing double a little bit.
Half one
I caught up with some old mates. Maybe not so old. One mate I’ve known for around 20 years. The other for 5 years. Yet, both of them are 2 of my very best friends.
I’ve had a laugh, reminiscing about old days – things of the past that we can laugh about now. I’m not one to name names on this blog, but these two guys will probably not realise just how much they have helped me today. How laughing at the silliest things have helped me relax just a little bit. How laughing has made this day today feel easier than it otherwise would have.
Half two
I mentioned in a recent post I lost someone. Today was the funeral. She was in Canada. And I dialled in remotely. I saw her. She looked like she was at peace. But that doesn’t mean anything to me. I should have been in touch with her. I should have been there for her in her time of need. I should have at least known more about her children.
I didn’t.
She was my sister. And I let her down.
Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I shouldn’t be making it about me. I’m the lucky one – I still have my life. I’m still breathing. But I feel I should have been there for her.
I’m sorry.
Perhaps writing a post whilst I’m under the influence wasn’t the wisest decision. The point of this blog is supposed to be to be stupid. To make people laugh. Even if it’s at my own expense. I don’t care if people laugh at me. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
But, we’ve lost someone we shouldn’t have. And for that I’m sorry. What sort of brother am I? Her kids don’t even know who I am. How can I help them when they don’t even know who I am?
Do you know the problems you’re experiencing right now? They mean f*ck all. Be thankful that you are able to breathe. Be thankful you are surrounded by at least a couple of people that love you. Be thankful that you are here.
Writing a post under the influence was a stupid idea.